You remember the five-second rule. Drop a Cheeto on the kitchen floor, snatch it back before the count hits five and it’s still clean. *Magic* Germs didn’t have the time to notice it yet. Clearly, that logic was bullshit, but it let us pretend we weren’t shoving contaminated food into our mouths. Today’s 5-Second Rule weaponizes the same logic. However, this time, you’re the Cheeto.